playing games

I wonder if the end result of something that one cares about deeply is worth being fake in the process of trying to reach that end goal. I tend to believe life is about how the individual responds and interacts in the process of achieving, but is there ever a time when the worth of the end goal out weighs the process? Should one play the game of politics in order to gain what he/she desires most? Should one pretend like he/she is playing along for the time being in order that he/she can be apart of an experience that he/she longs for? I guess I am asking the famous question, "Does the end justify the means?" Does it matter how I get there as long as I get there?

Everything inside me is screaming that it matters not whether or not I gain the end result, but what kind of a man I am through the process of seeking. Can I find a balance between living in the moment for the end even though living as the man I am greatly jeopardizes me reaching the end for which I so deeply care and love?

Should I take the easy route to just play these stupid games or do I dare to see this as an opportunity to engage with one who's vision is perpendicular to mine own and ask to have the privileged to partner with the Holy Spirit and grow together with this person who interprets and projects life so differently than I? Can I give this person the benefit of the doubt in that this person is not "too far gone" and has to chance of realizing a different reality? Am I strong enough to stay true to what I know is true while at times being injected with lies? Am I meek enough to have mine own heart transformed by what may seem to be lies, but are simply new revelations? Am I wise enough to know the difference? Does it matter? Is it worth trying?

Is the end result worth enough to justify a facade throughout the journey? If I cannot be true to the man I think God is calling me to be trough this process, should I retire from this quest I so desire to fulfill? To which avenue is God calling me for the sake of the expansion of his glorious, glorious Kingdom?

"Tom, God does not care whether or not you [experience this event], but what kind of a man you are in the process." - Willem

I guess I have to ask, not "What would Jesus do?" (because that is a ridiculous question due to the fact that I will never be Jesus), but what would Jesus do if he were me? (read it again if you have to.)

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.